The Milk Factory Crisis

"Smith, calm down will you? I cannot understand a word of what you are saying. Speak slower, damn it!"

CEO John Farmer of Daring Dairies Inc. was getting slightly irritated.

"The Wednesday batch to Baltimore slipped through the regular testing, Sir." Smith fidgeted and fixed his eyes on a spot on the wall behind Mr. Farmer.

"Yes, I got that. But what is the problem. Bacteria? Grease from the machinery?"

"No, Sir, but someone from the EFVLM got past security, sir."


"The Ecologial Feminist Vegan Liberation Movement Sir. They hate men and believe all cows should be freed, Sir."

"And who should milk the cows out there, I wonder? The wolves?" Farmer had acquired a disturbing red color in his cheeks. "Never mind that! What did they do?"

"They slipped Y2X formula into the milk, sir."

"And what is Y2X, if I may ask?"

"It is a experimental nanoviro DNA-altering drug sir; something they developed for Gitmo, sir."

"Yes, but what does it do?"

"It changes the DNA of men, sir."

"Oh God! What kind of disease are we talking about. Cancer? Hair growth? A craving for broccoli?"

"They are turned into women, sir."


"Yes, and the nanobots are very efficient sir. It takes only a few hours to change them completely. Our genetic structure does after all contain all the information needed to turn us into both men and women."

"You don't say?" Farmer was reminded of his own fascination for female panties. No, he shouldn't go there! Not now. This was serious.

"This is horrible, you understand that, Smith? The legal fees alone could sink this company, and the board will have my head on a platter. What does the legal team say?"

"Well so far we have had no complaints from the men -- eh, ex-men -- sir. As a matter of fact, many of them has asked us for more milk. It makes them high, apparently."

"So there have been no law suits? That's unbelievable!"

Smith looked at his shoes, at his nails, at the picture of Mr. Farmers firm wife before he dared to look Mr. Farmer into his eyes.

"Eh, no sir, unfortunately not, sir. We have received some 540 law suits so far, and they ask for damages up till some 450 million US dollars, sir."

"Why? From whom? I mean, people must see that it is those stupid anarchists that are to be blamed here?"

"Their wives and girl friends, sir. It turns out that none of them or their ex-men are lesbians, sir. Moreover, the ex-men steal their wives' underwear and make-up, sir. This is apparently causing much stress and emotional anxiety."

Farmer sank deep down into his expensive executive chair and sighed deeply. "Get me a glass of that milk, Smith. My life and my marriage is over, anyway..."

Hm, the day wasn't over yet. Maybe he had time for a trip to Victoria's Secret?

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