1/12/2010

Asking for directions

"Well, hey there, isn't it Michael! It is good to see you!"

"Eh, I am afraid you have the advantage on me. Do I know you?"

"It's Nate, you old buddy from Sunny High!"

"Eh, really. I didn't recognize you. You have... eh ... changed."

"To the better, I hope."

"I guess you could say that. What happened Nate? You look very much like a woman to me..."

"Ah good old Michael! Always the joker, eh? Well, I guess I have gone through some changes, but haven't we all!"

"Well... But what happened?"

"It all started three years ago. My wife -- you know Cindy, right? From Biology 101? She is standing over there -- anyway, my wife and I had rented a cottage in Provence, and there we were, driving around, trying to find the place, you know. I was the designated driver and I really could not find the damned place, even with Cindy helping with the map and all. Then we entered a small village and she told me to stop the car and ask someone for directions."

"Women!"

"Yeah, that's what I said too. I told her that men, through millions of years of evolution, had found that your chances of survival increased drastically if you found your way on your own. I mean, strangers are likely to kill you, right? Eat you even -- especially the French. So I refused."

"Good for you!"

"Yeah, but you see, then she accused me of cowardice."

"Oh no, that was a dirty trick."

"So I stopped the car."

"You didn't!"

"I had to! My honor as a man was at stake!"

"I guess."

"I stopped a young man. Roland is his name. He is standing over there, next to my wife."

"Is he kissing her?"

"Oh yes! He is such a good kisser! Anyway, were was I? Oh yes. He told me were to drive, and it wasn't difficult at all. It actually felt kind of good."

"Oh no!"

"Oh yes! And then, at the cottage, it turned out that I had forgotten to pack my Tom Clancy. I had to borrow one of my wife's pink and yellow books..."

"Chick litt?"

"Yeah, Cindy and I call it Chick Clit! Haaaa, that's funny, eh? No? But the book was kind of funny, you know. And then we went for a walk to the village to shop, and we had so much to carry that I had to carry Cindy's handbag."

"Good God!"

"I liked her handbag. It had all kinds of fascinating stuff in it. Lipstick, mascara, tissue paper for crying. Very practical, but also very sexy. When Cindy saw how much I liked it, she gave me one of my own. And that's about it really. When you first get the hang of shopping, it is hard to stop, you know."

"No, i don't know. Shopping! Is that how you got your tits, as well?"

"No, these babies are a gift from Cindy. Wedding anniversary. But enough about me. You look great, Michael. You haven't aged a day. Really! Do you work out?"

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This one is for Starhawk.

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