1/23/2008

A craving for broccoli

Sam, 26, was a rough, tough and mean man, working as a guard at a night club in one of the more rustic parts of town.

He was the beef and potatoes kind. So when he asked for vegetables, his friends started to worry. This was a man that found slices of tomatoes insulting, and you did not want to insult Sam.

After a couple of weeks they could see that he was losing weight, becoming slimmer and slimmer by the day.

One day they found him secretly ordering vegetarian pizza with rocket salad, drinking mineral water instead of beer, so they sent him to the doc.

“OK,” the doctor said. “Your weight loss is to be taken seriously." He was an ambitious young doctor, eagerly looking for new challenges. Let’s do the blood works. Come back in a week.”

The next week Sam looked even slimmer.

“I am loosing both weigth and height now,” he told the doctor.

He hesitated, fidgeting. “And I think I need to see a shrink.... Yeah. I do."

"Why?" the young doc asked him, with patience and understanding in his voice. This was not the kind of doctor that gave you a pill for any kind of emotional problem.

"Yesterday i found myself borrowing my girlfriend’s babydoll," Sam whispered, "and I loved it! She didn’t, though.”

"Hmmm, that silky feeling," the doc said. He came to his senses. “I have good news and bad news,” he said.

“The good news is that you do not have cancer and you do not have AIDS.”

“So, what’s wrong with me?” Sam started to cry. Boy, he was getting emotional. The last few days had been like a roller-coaster ride. He hadn’t cried since he was 10.

“You told me you were visiting the Amazonas last month, and it seems you have indigested a frog called Anura Transforma, a very rare species that carries a virus that noone have been able to prove the existence of until now.”

You could hear in the doc's voice that he was already working on a research paper for the Lancet.

“I haven’t eaten a frog!” Sam said.

“Are you sure? It could have been an ingredient in something served by others.”

“Maybe, I did get some strange looking food visiting one of the Indian tribes. There was this shaman, you see..."

He lost focus. "But what does the virus do to me?”

“It replaces your Y chromosome with copies of your X chromosome.”

“Huh?”

“The Anura Transforma changes sex.”

“Are you telling me it is turning me into a woman?” Sam found it hard to close his mouth.

“Yes, the woman you would have been, given an XX combination.”

Sam felt that he should have been shocked and revolted, but he wasn’t.

He was starting to enjoy his budding breasts and softer skin, and the idea of becoming a full blooded woman excited him. And he had this strong, erotic, craving for broccoli.

He had to throw out his girlfriend, though. He would keep the lingerie.

“Listen,” the doc said. “What do you say about dinner next week? You know, to dicuss your medical condition...”


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Photos from the stylish Hustler.com site. This is a work of fiction and the model is used for illustrative purposes only. Click on images to enlarge!

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